Monday, August 1, 2016

Ghostbusters (2016) Was Awful & It Has Nothing To Do With Gender

Okay...okay...So I finally saw Ghostbusters (2016) last night...Or was it Ghostbusters: Answer The Call? I dunno. Either way, here are my thoughts: (Note: I personally think this is spoiler free..but there are people out there who think that if you mention something that is clearly in the trailer, you are spoiling the movie)
This sums up the humor of Melissa McCarthy
The writing...was...AWFUL. For the first 30 minutes or so, EVERY attempt at humor was either based on immature toilet humor or the same old Wiig/McCarthy "uncomfortable moments that aren't actually that uncomfortable" jokes that we've seen a BILLION times before and never thought was funny in the first place. 
After Patty was introduced, they finally had some fresh original humor..but even then it wasn't consistent. But the humor wasn't the only aspect of writing that was awful...the characters...just WOW... Can you try just a LITTLE BIT to differentiate them from each other please? In the original Ghostbusters, each character had a clear trope and motive...in THIS film, Wiig & McCarthy played the exact same character. 

They were Wiig & McCarthy playing scientists...That's it. No discerning qualities beyond their normal quirks. And honestly, could they look any more uncomfortable?


And to be honest, Holtzmann was pretty much the exact same character as them except "nerdy.." Is she really "nerdy" though? Or just awkward? First of all, this was the WORST character I've seen on film in a long, long time. Her acting was ATROCIOUS...she was trying WAY TOO HARD to be weird, that she came off as just annoying. Does Paul Feig not understand that for a character to come off as "eccentric" to the audience, the other actors have to find her to be "eccentric" as well? But no, no one in the entirety of the film comments on that. AT ALL. It's just completely bypassed, therefore making the character even worse. And, I have no clue who this actress was, (apparently she is on SNL, which I'm not surprised about) but her line delivery was HORRENDOUS! Absolutely the worst part of the film. I know of 100 actresses who would have done this part justice... 

Patty was the best and most fleshed out character in the film. She actually has a clear personality, great delivery and a refreshing air about her after being stuck with the other three clones.

Before I get to the other actors and the story, I just want to quickly talk about the editing. I was so disappointed to see that the editors were the same editors for a ton of Apatow films, because it was sooo bad in this film. There were at least 4 scenes I can think off the top of my head where a character's head switches position in editing from shot to shot. I've never seen so much of this from a big budget production, but it was SO noticeable. It's as if they just gave up and handed it in as the final cut: "It's the best I can do."

Okay, now let's talk villain (who I guess is supposed to be Janosz-esque?) If you're going to stray SO far from the original as to saying that the sudden appearance of ghosts in NYC is due to a person who is releasing them unto the world, then MAYBE you should give him a goddamned backstory!!! You can't just say a character was bullied and that's the reason why he's doing this. That doesn't work. It's a cop-out answer. You have to give them a clear motive AND you have to tell the audience HOW he was able to do this!!!! They just assume it's enough to say, "I'm evil and I'm going to destroy the world" - but even Bond villains reveal how they did what they did. Here, it's just a weak "explanation" and the audience is supposed to accept it. In terms of the actual story.. So first of all, all the stupid references were cringeworthy. There were probably 4 or 5 non-actor related references to the original that made me want to gag on my popcorn. Just..why? Secondly, the thing that made the original such a great movie were the characters and the way they interacted with the world around them. There was a certain dynamic between Spengler, Venkman, Stantz, and Zeddmore that is impossible to replicate. They didn't have to sit around testing out equipment for the final battle for 15 minutes. But in this flick, they did. 
They had to sit around and test out equipment that everyone watching knows at the time is going to come back later...except in this film, there's no payoff! They use the equipment, but in such a "who cares" way that they could have easily just cut out the ridiculous "training montage!" Also, in the original, Spengler may have thrown out crazy scientific lingo, but it was then explained to the audience, so we knew what he was talking about. Not in THIS movie. In THIS movie, ALL THREE scientists will throw out pseudo-scientific lingo and then move on. And they do this CONSTANTLY! So the audience is left wondering WTF they are talking about as they move on to the next scene, never to hear about it again. Again...this could EASILY be cut out since it's serving the film absolutely NO PURPOSE!!!

The plot itself is fine. The ghostbusting was fun - I really enjoyed the designs of the different ghosts
(although I was annoyed that they were just like "hey here's Slimer." Great. I also was extremely disappointed that instead of sarcastic banter during the fight scenes, we got really drummed up action sequences. But whatever. I was even MORE disappointed in the fake NYC. And what was up with the Woolworths?? Haven't they been out of business for like 20 years? If that was supposed to be a throwback to the original, you failed movie. Because you decided to add social media as well...and Woolworths and social media NEVER existed in the same timeline. No, it's actually because this was filmed in Australia where Woolworths still exists. But really good job at screwing up! Overall, after the first 30 minutes were over, I was entertained for the rest of the flick. I despised the forced, overdone humor. When McCarthy is possessed (not a spoiler, it's in the trailer), she really tries so hard to be funny...but she fails. This whole scene fails. No one is funny, because we all have seen these jokes MANY times before..usually in bad spoof films like all the Scary Movie sequels. But when you get down to it, it was great to see them busting ghosts. That's what I came for and that's what I got. There were a few moments where the girls were able to shine, but I am sure that they were improvised lines. I still stick by all the funny lines in the script were given to Patty...and Kevin!

And I hate to say this, because all the girls might jump on me, but Chris Hemsworth made me laugh almost EVERY time he was on screen!! But it's NOT a male/female thing. It was the writing. I normally am not really into the "I'm stupid" humor, but I thought they really hit it out of the park with his over-the-top idiocy. I liked that they turned the damsel in distress trope on its head making him a dumb blonde male. And they gave him some great moments. Why couldn't they use this clever writing when it came to Erin or Abby? There was seriously no saving Holtzmann... My eyes felt like they were going to fall out of my head with all the eye rolling I had to do for her piss poor acting and I'm-Strange-Look-At-Me!-Look-At-Me! "jokes".


So in conclusion.... I thought it was entertaining...and there were SOME fresh jokes...but the storyline was mediocre. They reused plot devices from pretty much ever movie ever made (including an almost identical scene from Big Hero 6)...but they did bust some ghosts, which was cool. Plus the 3D effects were great! Whenever there was electricity on screen, it looked like it was far below the actual screen, which just looked amazing and drew you into the scene. The 3D here really knew how to use its space and depth. Loved all of the ghosts at the end - - they REALLY got original with some of the ideas. But the characters were written so piss-poorly, without purpose and without personality that it was tough to sit through. Oh, and that metal show?? WTF was that?? That wasn't metal!!! It was, like, an attempt at pop punk. Don't you hate when big budget movies think they know what they are talking about when it comes to non-popular music?? I, for one, am sick and tired of films portraying punks as people with eye makeup and dark clothes... But that's an argument for another time. Uch...and all the jokes that make this film anything but timeless. Good going at dating your film.. Also, let's not forget that "Dreamworks sequence" that got cut (probably because of focus groups) but they still decided to put it in during the credits, because they thought it was funny (Note: It wasn't).
So scream at me if you must, but this was my opinion. It has nothing to do with male/female, it has nothing to do with misogyny or hatred. Anyone who knows me, knows that I feel none of those things (especially when it comes to film). This is about terrible writing, terrible directing and even some terrible acting. AND TERRIBLE EXTRAS by the way too!!! (could you at least PRETEND something crazy is going on?) The idea was great. The execution was awful. And the cameos....well, there were all right, I guess .